'I do more than most fathers': 37-year-old husband fails to take care of 6-year-old and 4-year-old for a couple hours while wife is away, gets upset when wife calls him out

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Apr 7, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

Any form of partnership is difficult. If you're working together on a certain goal, odds are you're going to have differences. You might have an imbalanced work ethic, where one of you is pulling way more of the weight than the other, who leaves everything until the last minute. You may have different world views that lead you to draw different conclusions about problems. You may have different modes of communication, where one of you is constantly checking in with the other, who shuts down when given too much information. This is just the nature of the partnership whether it be a creative partnership, a working partnership, or most of all, a parenting partnership. 

The important thing, though, is that you understand your differences and work in a way that acknowledges them. If you're self-aware about it, then that's the first step. But not every partnership is great at understanding this.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10491126016
    via Vitolda Klein

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's what happened in this story when a pair of parents had a breakdown when one was given more responsibility than the other. Read on to see what happened and who was at fault. Some blamed the father for lacking the necessary skills to parent his kid, others pointed to the mother's enabling. 

  • 02

    AITA for blowing up at my husband after being late for son's camp?

    I (34F) have been married to my husband (37M) for 8 years and have 3 children (6,4, and 1). I had a cousins baby shower on the same weekend my son was going to an overnight camp. I knew it would be hard on my husband to get him to the camp with the three children so I
    via u/Own_Baby5269
  • 03
    arranged childcare for the youngest. I also got everything packed and put out for him for the camp. I left at 10am and the kids had ball hockey at 11:30-12:30 and then had to be at the camp for 6:30. The rest of the day he had nothing else to do. I asked him to give the kids a bath after ball hockey because they got muddy. At 3:30 |
    via u/Own_Baby5269
  • 04
    left the baby shower and let him know I would be back at 5:20 and to meet me at my parents at that time (closer to the camp location). At 5:15 I text him and he said the kids were still getting dressed so I instead had to get my mom to drive me back to the house. At this point it's already after 5:30 and the kids are just
    via u/Own_Baby5269
  • 05
    getting outside with soaking wet hair. He said he put the kids in the bath a long time ago but "couldn't" get them out. I exploded on him because how could he not get them out as the parent? On the way there, already late, I ask where his scout necker is (which was a requirement for identification) and he says he forgot
    via u/Own_Baby5269
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    it even though I set it out with all the stuff he was supposed to wear. He says he didn't know he wore one even though he takes him to scouts every week. Then we get there and he also forgot to bring my son's jacket or even a sweater (we are in Ontario and it's still cold here). I was
    via u/Own_Baby5269
  • 07
    so upset I didn't talk to him the whole way home. He says I'm an a hle for exploding on him and ruining our night. He says he does way more than most fathers. I am just sick and tired of having to manage everything. Planning and packing every single thing and he is still late and things get forgotten. I asked what he did all
    via u/Own_Baby5269
  • 08
    day and he said he "cleaned" and "tried to install a light in my sons room" but the light is sitting in the exact same spot as when I left and the house was a total mess when I got home so I'm not sure what he did that whole time. I'm just tired of everything falling on me and still things like this happening. So Reddit, AITA?
    via u/Own_Baby5269
  • 09

    Commenters weighed in on what they thought the issue was here.

    Temporary_Orchid21... . 22h ago NTA- "he does more than most fathers.." that alone makes my bl d boil... not only you have to leave everything ready and tell him what to do, he still managed to screw up. I would understand if it was the first time or something, but after 8 years... common...
    via u/Temporary_Orchid2102
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    • cdaffy 22h ago NTA - it's frustrating feeling like you have to do everything yourself. As an older version of you, I would offer the following advice. 1 understand that this is who you are, regardless of what others are doing. Understand he is not this way. Understanding these things will help with the frustration.
    via u/cdaffy
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    2 do less for them. Allow failure and imperfections. If you always take care of everything, they will never learn, and they need to learn. 3 take time for yourself Mama. The world keeps turning even if we aren't spinning it.
    via u/cdaffy
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    Cheezburger Image 10491126272
    via Unsplash+ (Brooke Cagle)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 13
    MadTownMich 22h ago • NTA, but sister, you really need to stop enabling this. Has he ever parented the children by himself for an entire day? If not, he absolutely needs to do that. "I do more than most fathers" is a pathetic indictment on men and not justification for not even being able to do the bare minimum here.
    via u/MadTownMich
  • 14
    syd_cash 22h ago . He already the a h le for saying he does way more than most fathers. I think us mothers coddle too much, next time just leave and prep nothing let him do it all himself. He's an adult parent he can figure it out. I
    via u/syd_cash
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    almost think so much coddling (step by step instructions, getting everything packed etc.,) makes them do worse then if you just let them do everything themselves. I've made this mistake before early on with my kids, now I just let my husband manage everything himself when he's solo in charge of kids and honestly he does better. There is no one prepping sh for me when I'm solo in charge
    via u/syd_cash
  • 16
    greta_cat 22h ago NTA. Sadly, this isn't an uncommon story. Your husband says, "he does way more than most fathers." Wow, maybe more than most fathers back in 1953, but not today. He's TA.
    via u/greta_cat
  • 17
    RadioSupply • 22h ago NTA. He doesn't do more than most fathers. Most fathers would have managed to pack everything that was already laid out, and would put coats on their kids in an Ontario winter. This is weaponized incompetence. You made it so easy the kids could have done better without him there.
    via u/RadioSupply
  • 18
    GlassCommercial7105 22h ago NTA - "He says he does way more than most fathers" wow. If that's true, men really don't do anything at all. What does he do when you are not around? I think you should do a spa weekend, you deserve it. Turn your phone off.
    via u/GlassCommercial7105
  • 19
    Crawfama6 • $ 22h ago NTA for being upset. You and him need to have a very serious conversation about doing simple tasks. You set him up for success and he still failed. My husband can get my kids ready for a trip and they're his step kids. I wouldn't have to do a
    via u/Crawfama6
  • 20
    thing. This is seriously incompetent. Have you considered weaponized incompetence? And to excuse it as doing more than most fathers? That would be false. Idk a single man that can't do this for his children.
    via u/Crawfama6
  • 21
    Bulky_Bookkeeper8... 22h ago He does not do more than most fathers lol.
    via u/Bulky_Bookkeeper8556
  • 22
    . LSSultryGoddess 22h ago Nah you're not the a h le, you're just tired of doing 200% so he can coast at 20.
    via u/LSSultryGoddess
  • 23
    BunchSweet3322 22h ago NTA. He's a father, he has responsibilities. You'd done so much prep work for him and he couldn't even sort the bare minimum.
    via u/BunchSweet3322
  • 24
    Mindless-Client3366 • 22h ago NTA for getting upset but you've got to stop enabling this behavior. "He does way more than most fathers" is utter bulls and a cop out. He's this way because he knows you'll step in and fix everything. You have to teach yourself to stop doing that. If he doesn't do something or doesn't do it right, then leave it. If he complains about it, tell him he'll have to try again.
    via u/Mindless-Client3366
  • 25
    RB1... • • 22h ago Edited 19h ago ESH, Everyone S ks Here. You've been married 8 years. There's no way this man suddenly became this incompetent in handling normal chores and parenting. The fact that his attitude was immediately "he does more than most fathers" confirms it.
    via u/RB1327
  • 26
    --->You've already decided this is the right guy as a partner and father to 3 kids, so I doubt you're of a mind to change anything with that. Stop assigning him important tasks, or get used to this frustration. "Exploding on him" for his inevitable failures isn't accomplishing anything.
    via u/RB1327

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